High Expectations

CHAPTER ONE

Damian Wayne stood still, hands clenched into fists as he stared at the slowly darkening computer screen. A photo of a smiling red haired man showed on the screen, but all Damian could see was that man's face with an expression of betrayal mixed with fear and pain.
The man was identified as a John Doe for now, but Damian was sure he had a name. Maybe even a family he couldn't go home to. Perhaps even a dog, or cat. 
He closed his eyes and tried to block out his thoughts. But the image of the man danced behind his eyelids, and a large knot rose in his throat. 
Today, Robin had taken a life. 
It didn't matter that the man was a criminal. Robin was supposed to be a beacon of hope, not a murderer! 
But even if he hadn't killed someone today, he would still be a murder. Ten months ago, something like this wouldn't have been a problem. But now, Damian felt remorse over his actions. He felt sick, knowing that the man who died tonight was not the only person who had died at his hands. Dick said that the past didn't matter. But it did. Damian had tried to change, tried his absolute hardest. But he couldn't change, couldn't control himself. 
"Damian." Bruce's voice cut through the silence in the cave. 
Damian looked up at his father. 
Bruce sighed and sat down. "Why?"
Damian wanted to speak, to tell all. To tell how much he regretted his actions, and how emotions and muscle memory had gotten the better of him. But he could hardly breathe at the moment, much less talk. "I-" He stopped, drew a breath, and tried not to let his emotions show through his voice. "He was going to harm you." 
"You warned me beforehand. I had him." Bruce's voice was calm. It was unnerving.  
"I know, and I apologize. I made a bad decision." 
"So you decided to kill him?" Disbelief tinged Bruce's voice, and Damian's eyes widened. No, no, that had not been what he meant at all! 
"I didn't intend to kill him!" His voice rose in pitch, and a whistle rang out. Damian turned quickly to the source of the noise.
Jason stood near the entrance to the garage, red helmet tucked under his arm and Dick right behind him. "The Demon child finally snapped and killed someone?" Jason looked at Damian in disbelief, then at Bruce. 
Shame and bile rose in Damian's throat. They still thought he was a killer. He hadn't proved himself. Not as Damian al Ghul Wayne, and certainly not as Robin. And he couldn't prove it. Not now. Now there would be no second chance.
"Oh my God, are you okay?" Dick rushed forward, already beginning to fuss. 
"He's fine." Bruce said shortly. 
"I'm alright, Grayson." Damian managed to speak around the lump in his throat. 
"If you're sure." Dick backed off, retreating into a corner.
Damian didn't voice it, but he wanted Dick nearby. He wished for a trademarked Dick scolding, followed by an understanding hug. But no one was going to care, or hug him, not once they heard all the details. He'd failed. And failed miserably. That deserved punishment.
"It was an accident, Todd." Damian said shortly. "It was muscle memory. I reacted to the threat without thinking."
Jason didn't speak, neither did Dick. But Bruce sighed, disappointment tangible. "When you became my Robin, you said you'd untrained yourself from what your mother had taught you, and learned to use nonlethal force." 
"I thought-" Damian began.
"No. You didn't think." Once again, Bruce's voice was cold. 
Damian took a fortifying breath. "I was certain that I was capable of not using those skills. But I was wrong." 
Bruce sighed. "Yes, you were. For now, you're suspended from being Robin." 
Damian's heart twisted. "Yes father." He looked at the Robin suit, stained with the John Doe's blood, and walked out of the cave. Titus met him at the top of the cave's stairs, tail wagging eagerly as he offered his ball. Damian couldn't even smile at the animal's antics. "Not tonight boy." He sighed and scratched the dog's head. 
Titus quietly whined and followed as Damian went upstairs to his room. Damian closed the door and collapsed onto his bed, blinking back hot tears. He'd failed his father. Failed Dick, who had been the first to trust Damian to become Robin, and the first person to make Robin a symbol of hope. 
But now the Robin name was tarnished. 
Damian rubbed at his stinging eyes. Talia's words echoed through his head. "Showing emotion is weakness." 
But though he tried to keep them back, tears slowly tracked down his cheeks. Titus licked them as they dripped off his chin. Damian sighed and leaned against the dog, slowly drifting off into an exhausted sleep.