seven (adam banks)

chapter ten

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

chapter ten: icarus and her sun

( a/n: slight warning about an oral presentation )

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

It's the day of the presentation, and Jamie is nervous.

Actually, 'nervous' might be putting it lightly. The panic is a slow and methodical killer, creeping up on her for days only to jump at her last minute. It squeezes her like a boa constrictor, a muscular predator born to strangle, and makes it almost impossible for her to really breathe. As she stands at the bus stop, her legs shake underneath her like a newborn horse's, and she flips through the cards with her lines on them obsessively.

She hates this.

Adam notices, because of course he does, and gently takes hold of her wrist. Her gaze snaps up to him.

"Hey..."

"Hi." She chokes out. "Our project is today."

He nods slowly. "Yeah, it is- are you okay?"

Jamie opens her mouth, ready to dismiss his worries because he shouldn't have to worry about this too, but no words come out. The only noise she manages to make is an awkward croak.

Oh, man, she really hates this.

"It's going to be fine."

He says it with a cute little smile and, for some reason, that just makes that fluttery feeling in her chest so much worse. She sighs, looking back down at her lines and rereading them again as if she doesn't know them by now. Adam's hand comes up slowly to rub her back, an attempt at comforting her further because his words aren't doing much and he knows it.

Eventually, the bus comes to a halt in front of them and, as they board, she might just faint.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

"I can't eat."

Elena heaves a sigh, rolling her eyes at Jamie and pulling the tray back toward her side of the table. There's plenty of food on it, and she knows she's hungry, but she can't bring herself to actually put any of it in her mouth. She runs her fingers through her short hair, tugging slightly at the roots and sighing through her nose, and mumbles her lines to herself.

"You always get like this- it's just a presentation."

"It's not just a presentation."

Well, it is just a presentation, but it's also so much more than that.

It's the end of a project with Adam, the ending of whatever cosmic plan to bring them back to each other. Now that she thinks about it, she sounds like some crazy lovesick girl that Demi Moore would play, but she's so worried that he's going to disappear from her life like he did all those years ago that she's mentally jogging circles around herself.

She really doesn't want to lose him again.

"Please just at least drink some of this?"

Linda holds out a tiny bottle of apple juice and, with a sigh, Jamie takes it from her. Opening it, she starts sipping at the sugary stuff and wrinkles her nose in distaste.

"Apple juice is so gross."

"Yeah, well, it's the apple juice or it's the food."

She huffs softly and continues drinking, trying to push the thought of it to the back of her mind.

Growing up, Jamie's grandmother used to drag her to church way too early on Sunday mornings. The masses would last hours and, since she wouldn't get to eat breakfast, she'd get really, really sick- faint, even. Her grandmother's brilliant solution, instead of letting her eat or settling for a later mass, was to make her drink apple juice every time so her blood sugar would stay up.

She hasn't been to church in years, and her grandmother is dead, but the hatred of apple juice has remained the same.

"I hate you guys."

"No, you don't."

Jamie won't admit it, but the juice helps.

The next few periods of her day pass by in a blur and suddenly she's sitting next to Adam in their last period English class, their project on his desk and her leg tapping anxiously. Because his last name starts with a 'B', they're going to have to go earlier than the rest, which is entirely unfair in Jamie's opinion because her name is 'J' and she wouldn't have had to go so soon had she had another partner.

"...and that's the story of Artemis..."

The pair standing up at the front of the room finishes awkwardly, one boy twiddling with his thumbs and the other clearing his throat after he finishes speaking. Mrs. James starts the scattered applause.

"Good job, boys!" She says cheerfully as they all but run back to their seats. "Alright, up next we have... Adam and Jamie."

She looks up at them and Jamie swallows, standing up slower than Adam. She feels kind of like she's floating, her eyes dilating on their own and her heart is beating so fast it doesn't really feel like it's there- everyone's gazes are on them as he balances their poster board against the board and she holds her lines with shaking hands.

"Whenever you guys are ready."

He meets her eye, cocking his head and silently asking her if she's ready. Despite the fact that she's definitely not ready, she nods, and he smiles at her reassuringly; standing on either side of the poster, they turn to face the rest of the group.

"Hi." Adam says, swallowing. "I'm Adam, she's Jamie, and we chose Apollo for our project. Apollo is one of the twelve Olympians, the major deities of the Greek pantheon, and he's the god of many things..."

His voice fades softly, her cue to start speaking, and her eyes flit down to the cards in her hand.

"Yeah. Such as- Such as light, music, poetry, healing, plagues, prophecy..."

Jamie then realizes, far too late, that she is missing one of her cards.

The frog is in her throat, choking all of her words and making it hard to do much. With wide eyes, she looks up at Adam, and he's already looking at her. Tears blur her vision as her stomach twists up.

"Knowledge, order, beauty, archery, and agriculture." He finishes for her, turning back to the rest of the class.

Adam continues on with what she was supposed to say for their project and, finally able to breathe, she stares at him. Awed.

He saved her. He hasn't really done that since they were little.

Losing him had been like amputating a limb, or at least the way her father described it when she asked him about his friend's leg. There had been a phantom of him in her life, a ghost of a person in her bed and in all of her pictures and in her memory- a person she could feel that wasn't really there. But now, like a starfish, she's grown it back, she has him again, and it's strange, but not an unwelcome strangeness.

The afternoon sunlight coming through the window outlines his features again.

Still staring at him, she knows now why she chose Apollo that fateful day all those weeks ago. Even now, standing in front of her in a dingy classroom, he exudes light and warmth. It's only fitting that a boy with wheat colored hair and a dazzling smile reminded her of the god of light and beauty and poetry. Adam Banks is the sun, her sun.

Very suddenly, Jamie realizes what's happening- why she's thinking this way.

She's Icarus. She's got wings of wax and feathers and she's in love with something unattainable.

Adam turns back to her, gently signaling for her to pick it back up, and Jamie starts reading, again. Her wings are melting, and she's going to start spiraling down.