Paralyzer [Gotham]

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Aside from the torment with a strong hold on my mind, everything felt sore, from my ears to my toes; an entire bodily ache. When I opened my eyes they burned, taking a moment to squint and adjust. I didn't recognize this place, and I doubted Tabitha would still offer me hospitality after what I'd pulled, my breath hitching when my eyes found Zsasz in the corner of the room. He was reading, but there was something off about his face, it made my stomach drop.

It really shouldn't have taken me as long as it had, but my hands went to my stomach, the bump reduced, nearly gone, in fact. The movement caught his attention, his actions slow as he moved this way. I closed my eyes and shrunk away, Zsasz heaving a sigh as his footsteps stopped. "Where are we?" I quietly asked, starting with the smaller questions.

"Tabitha took you to the hospital. As soon as you discharged, I brought you to my place," he explained softly.

"How long have I been out?" I whispered. I opened my eyes again, the burning gone but now it was a matter of keeping my tears contained.

"You've been in and out of it," Zsasz breathed, squatted before the bed I laid on. "This is the first time you've been coherant in a couple days." I took a slow breath, rattled by the emotion I kept barely under the surface. I opened my mouth to speak but the sound didn't come, I couldn't bring myself to ask. He seemed to know anyways, because he brought my hand to his lips and took a deep breath himself. "Whatever that cure did to you, it was too much for her immune system to handle; doctors said you'd been infected for just about the entire pregnancy."

I couldn't blame him for not being able to say just what had happened, I don't think I could handle hearing it, but I had the only confirmation I'd need. My other hand left my stomach, I couldn't handle touching the emptiness there. "I'm sorry," I whispered, closing my eyes as my tears finally broke free. Zsasz didn't answer right away, moving to sit beside me as he cautiously ran his hand over my head.

"It's not your fault, Lucian." His voice was so soft, softer than I thought capable, and I realized he was scared of me shattering like glass, but it would seem as though I already had.

[]

There was a thick silence between us as he walked me up to my house, mostly on my part. I felt numb and hollow, nothing having much of an affect on my mood, no matter what emotion Victor had tried to elicit. I barely felt the tiniest bit of something when I found that Andrew's door was wide open and his bed was empty. "Where is he?" I asked, taking two steps toward the doorway before stopping myself.

"I don't know," Victor shrugged. "I haven't been back here since I took you to the Sirens." Upon realizing that I simply couldn't, he checked out the room, returning after a short moment as he shook his head. "Didn't look like anything was taken." I slowly walked myself to the kitchen, IV nutrient drips would keep you alive, but your stomach would be empty; he'd have to be starving if he'd woken up.

I hesitantly opened the fridge, finding nothing missing or displaced to my best recollection. Even around the house, nothing besides Andrew had changed. If he'd made his way out of here, he'd have to knock at least something over or out of place. At this point, I didn't know if he was alive or dead. I took a deep breath and walked to his room, briefly looking around before shutting the door. I was feeling numb and I'd give anything not to, but that didn't mean I wanted the guilt just yet.

"I knew you weren't ready to show me," I spoke, needing to divert the buildup. "I shouldn't have made you." I turned and met his eyes with a soft frown. "Sorry about that."

"You were going to find out anyways," he shrugged, mildly irritated by it, though. "It was just a matter of time." I fought hard not to roll my eyes, walking to the window and grabbing my cat on the way by. Things were getting back into order, the smell of smoke didn't hang as densly in the air. Some rain would do us some good. Victor was silent on his feet as ever, surprising me as he looked over my shoulder. "Some of the things you said..." he trailed off, for once unsure of his wording.

"Most of it was the virus," I breathed, giving him a halfsmile as I looked up at him. "It's supposed to bring out the darkest parts of people, apparently. You were right about me; I'm selfish. I did all that I can for everyone else to avoid it, no matter the consequences." I wanted to touch him, but something told me we'd taken several large steps back. "I meant what I felt about you, and that was probably the darkest part of it all. Good doctor isn't all that good if she pines for someone like you."

"Everyone's got their own taste," he shrugged, a hint of humor about him. "I'm a sucker for red heads." I softly chuckled as his dark eyes finally fell to me, running a thumb down my jaw. I easily relaxed into his touch, grateful that he wasn't wearing any gloves. It left me with a spark of something warm, but the emotion didn't last long, reaching up and holding his hand flat against my cheek. My fingers were still atop the tallies on the back of his hand, soaking up what I could from the simple touch. "I wanna show you something."

[]

I walked slowly behind Zsasz, almost wishing I'd put on black as he led me through Gotham Cemetary. There was a fresh headstone along my family patch, the Kanes and the Canes intermingling along the backs, though the former greatly outweighed the latter. I'd come to know that within his line of work, he was extremely professional, no innocent bystanders fell to his hand - unless they obstructed his path, that is. He only went for the intended targets, and from what I could gather, he'd had frequent targets upon Jim Gordon's head, though the man still lived.

All things considered, I never thought he'd have a sense of respect for the dead, silently watching as he manuevered over grass that likely didn't hide a casket. I followed him to the fresh headstone, eyes widening as I took in the engravings. Andromeda Cane. Marked with four months of life. I could feel my cheeks warm when I realized that the first date was likely the conception date, as it was the day of the wedding; the second was the day he'd given me the Tetch virus cure. There was a telescope beside her name, and it took everything in me not to reach for him.

"She's not under there," he informed after a minute, waiting for me to face him to hand me a small urn. "I'll let you decide what to do with her." I let my hands linger on his gloved ones as I took the small ornament, tears breaking through my eyes as a dam of emotions burst within me. Victor did the only thing he could, in respects of his privacy; led me to the car and drove me home.