My human mate

Chapter 24

Recap:

"What are you doing?" I asked Zeiden stopping him from flicking through more pictures. He looked up at me surprised.

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"Rue!" He exclaimed clearly surprised to see me. He stared at me not saying anything. I could hear his heartbeat pounding.

I slowly stepped closer to him asking, "Zeiden, exactly what are you doing going through my stuff?"

He looked down at the picture he was holding drawing my attention to it. It was a picture of my dad, me, Jake, and Brandon. It was for my 5th birthday. Jake and Brandon were just kids. Who would have known that it would come to this?

I could feel my heart ache for my brother at the sight of him. My little Jake. It had been years since I last saw his face. Or at least the real him. The nightmares of Brandon seem to haunt me every night. I couldn't deal with the sight of them. Not now. Not when Brandon was threatening my life again.

"You shouldn't have seen this." I stated moving over to rip the picture out of his hand carefully placing it back in the box. I began to gather the other pictures dumping them in too.

"Rue," he called out behind me but I ignored him. "Rue!" He bursted out pulling my shoulder back to face him. "Can't you just tell me?" He asked desperately. I looked into his eyes to see the how he was so desperately trying to read my thoughts. "Please." He pleaded.

"Answer me one thing first." I bit my lip knowing I had to tell him. "Why?" I asked with the same desperation. "Why are you trying so hard to find out about me? What is it you want from this?" I searched his eyes.

"Because it's you. Because you are making me feel these feelings that I can't stop. But I can't do this if I don't know what I am getting into. Right from the start you have hide things from me. My past. My memories. And I don't know what else. And I can deal with that. I will deal with that. But this. Your past. I see you hurting from it. I want to know because I want to be there for you. I want to help you." I step back my eyes darting all over the place trying to process what he was saying but he wasn't done.

"That night of Sam's party when you fell asleep you said something about Brandon. And how he wanted to hurt me. Who is he, Rue? Who is this Brandon?" He asked me. I clenched my fists tightly trying to calm myself. It's okay. You can tell him. I told myself taking a deep breath.

"He's my brother." I said feeling my lips tremble and picked up one of the pictures in the box with both my brothers and dad. "My father and brother Jake, Brandon's twin died a few years ago." I whispered feeling my voice break.

"How?" He softly asked curious. If I tell him now, I won't be able to go back. He will know about the things I did about how I have killed. These doubts invaded my head. The insecurities swarming my head trying to stop me from continuing. "I am sorry. I shouldn't force you to tell me. You don't have to tell me." He assured me realizing how hard it was for me to say that.

I could see how he was just saying that to comfort me but I could see how it was eating him alive not knowing. After all this time that I left him in the dark, he finally got something and I knew it it was now or never. I cleared my throat as I went on, "I killed them, Zeiden."

He looked at me confusion and bewilderment swirling in his eyes. "What?" His voice quavered.

"My brothers were twins, two years older than me. They were supposed to be alpha of the pack but my father picked me. At the time I didn't know why but I accepted it so did Jake. But Brandon, he wanted to be alpha. Anyway before I tell you about it you have to know. I wasn't myself that day. There's this thing inside me. It controls me and it is some type of ravage bloodlust or something. I used not be able to even be conscious in the time it took over but now I think I can control it. Or at least I have to try. After all the things it made me do I need to control it." Zeiden looked at me confused but didn't input anything waiting for me to continue. "It's going to be a long story."